Warning..there are some gross pictures in this post. I really hate looking through these because it brings back terrible memories but, I want to blog it while it is fresh on my mind because some day Kinley will ask me to tell her the story about how she got the scar on her hand and I want to be able to tell her.
Ben was gone for a guys weekend at my grandpa's ranch and so we planned lots of fun with friends while he was away. We started out Saturday morning for a walk on an amazingly gorgeous first day of fall walk in the park. We went with the Bartels with both double joggers on our normal 4 mile route which passes 3 or 4 playgrounds. The girls decided at the beginning of the walk which playground they wanted to go to. When we got within seeing distance of the playground they decided they wanted to get out to run to the playground. About 5 steps later, Kinley was screaming crying on the ground. When she stood up her left arm was limp and she was holding it kinda strange with her right hand.
My first instinct (and Leslie's too as it turns out) was that she broke her arm. In those first five seconds I was picturing a cast. I ran to scoop her up in my arm and very carefully wanted to see if she could move her arm. She pulled it away from her body and we both immediately saw lots of blood.
She started screaming even harder then. Leslie very quickly grabbed Ty's blanket and wrapped it around her hand as fast as we could to stop the bleeding. Within 30 seconds all 3 other kids were "sympathy crying." At this particular point in the walk we are literally as far from our house as we could possibly be.
We had no other choice...as fast as we could we threw them all back in the strollers and ran like crazy home. Kinley held the blanket on her hand the whole way home. She tried to stop me from running a few times I think because it hurt her when the stroller was bouncing a little. But, I knew I needed to go fast so I would start running again anyway.
When we got home I put her on the kitchen counter and told her I needed to look at her hand to see how bad it was and determine where we needed to go next. We looked together. The bleeding had slowed a lot but, it was deep. I knew immediately she would need stitches. Leslie quickly told me she would keep Ty and we decided the best place to go was Cooks Children's Urgent Care.
In retrospect, I probably should have driven to the ER. However, I do think Cooks Children's did a wonderful job, probably the same as an ER would have, and was much quicker than the ER would have been. The cut was just worthy of the legit hospital ER, as it turns out.
Since Ben was out of town, and he was with Jeff, they wanted me to send LOTS of pictures of the cut. Jeff was pouring out his doctor knowledge to Ben about what questions to ask and what thoughts he had about muscle or ligament damage and what the possibilities were. It was so helpful to have the Cooks doctors and Jeff looking and thinking from all angles and agreeing on the diagnosis.
Here is the cut before any cleaning wit Ty's blanket. Right away they gave her a dose of Motrin for the pain before they did anything at all.
I hated seeing this scared face
At this point, Kinley was VERY strong. She knew she was hurt and knew she needed to be fixed. She knew stitches were coming and were going to help her get better and she was ready. She was great about putting her hand in the basin bath to get it initially cleaned. This was before any numbing medicine or anything. Just the Motrin.
Then they put lidocaine on it and she sat for 30 minutes watching Disney channel.
Then the hard part came.
They had to clean it much, much more and give her 2 local anesthesia numbing shots. I do think the lidocaine helped and she wasn't in severe pain or anything but, she could feel them spreading the cut apart and see what they were doing and she was freaking out. They did not sedate her at all. Just the Motrin and numbing.
So she started flailing and saying
" I don't like this"
"I want to go home"
"Make them stop"
It was heartbreaking.
They ended up getting out a large blanket...kind of like a swaddle blanket for a baby and wrapping her up real tight (like a straight jacket). I was at her head talking to her and with books trying to get her to look at them instead of her hand. There were 2 male nurses, one on each side, holding her down while the doctor finished cleaning, giving shots, and stitching her up.
She screamed and fought us for a long time.
But, eventually I just looked her in the eyes and said "Baby, we are all trying to help your hand. We have to stitch it up so it can get better. I will not leave you. I am right here. If we don't do this now, we will have to go to the hospital and get it done there later."
She succumbed and was so brave and just changed her mind. She stopped fighting, looked at the books, cried out a little if she felt something or was hurt, but, just made up her mind to fight through it.
She was amazing.
Here is the cut totally cleaned up before sutures.
You can tell in this pic that she is in the blanket and you can see one male nurse on the opposite side with the doctor and one male nurse on my side with me. I am holding the book in front of her face.
Poor baby still fighting here.
The doctor did a great job with a running stitch. We go back in 10-14 days and they should be able to make one cut and pull out all the stitches with one tug.
Here she is showing daddy her stitched up hand. But, really at this point...she is so done and ready to go home. She was waiting for them to bring her a bandage to cover up the stitches because she doesn't like seeing them. This was the most impatient she was the whole time. "What's taking so long!?" "Where is my bandaid!?" We used Ty's trusty blanket to cover it up so that she didn't have to see it until they came.
And here is the bloody massacre of clothes and Ty's blanket I washed when we got home.
I have to say...this day was really one of the hardest ever for me as a mom.
It broke my heart seeing her struggle against us. She was very hurt from a freak accident and she did not want to go through that pain. I hated it for her. But, I willed myself not to cry. I prayed and prayed and commanded my eyes not to cry in front of her and to be strong for her.
It was so hard.
When the day was over and both my kids were asleep. I just cried on the couch by myself. I had to let it out. I had been strong all day but, could not anymore. With Ben gone and my parents are out of town and Ben's parents are out of town....I really had to do it on my own.
But, thankfully, I was NOT on my own.
I had the best support system of friends that came to my rescue. Leslie ended up keeping Ty for almost 4 hours and AG made Kinley a get well sign and some cotton candy cookies. Lindsey brought us dinner and Mav brought Kinley a balloon and a sucker. Kristen and Allison came over the next day with candy and get well soon gifts. I had so many supportive calls and texts and offers from everybody that even knew what was going on.
It was a whirlwind and I was exhausted at the end of the day but, I was also overwhelmed with thankfulness and the friends the Lord has blessed me with.
Thankful Kinley was not more hurt.
Thankful that she will be better in just a couple weeks.
Overwhelmed with emotion for the moms who can't always say the same.
We are so blessed.
It was a rough weekend and not something I will ever, ever forget.
But, we are so blessed.
It warmed my heart to see this smile again today. I love you Kinley Gay. You are so brave!
